Where the branches grasp the skyline.
Those clutching,waving limbs.
Clamour at firmament’s unrelenting dark
Beckoning towards kindred as stars reborn
Alighting the heavens as silver flame
Baring witness to mortality fleeting, vain.
Manifest in fragments the singular dream
That guides the will and aim of man
Toward aspect’s secret perfect design
The tapestry woven before unfolding time.
These halls are forgotten, discarded neglect
Bare testament to dying spirits lament
Threadbare ghosts flit along walls
With burden of yesterday kindling flame
With torch and candle upon stone they tread
Casting light on wounds long rent
In exile they linger as fragments bereft and lost
By regret banished, entombed in shame
Innurred in the shallow graves of the soul
In lands surrounding the original flame
It dwindles and wanes as their numbers grow
And when cold earth can no longer hold
Their bodies will rise to extinguish the blaze
The hunger lingers in shadowed eve
Gnawing remnants of offering slain
Twin crimsons of blood and refining flame
Render Holy the spirit yet thy name profane
Take my yolk, my burden twice more
Offer the fruit that corrupts the tree
Command me feast on the dangling rot
And prepare the harvest from festering seed
The flames will dwindle
The light will fade
Blinding my spirit to sorrow’s shade
Yet still I’ll hunger and yearn once more
Draped in the Twilight of the shadowed eve
Manifest, transcend, as aspects arise
Dominions, principalities as effigies erect
From earth, from mother from dirt take form
Oh spirit, oh father catch vessel ablaze
Empty I wander, hollow I yearn
Your beacon I follow through darkened path
Piercing the horizon, a pillar between
Bridging the mortal to firmament pale
Till death I wander seeking your light
Inurred and buried within womb of earth
Spirit conceived at last breath’s draw
Bones to dust, body to wither.
Reborn from ashes, my soul rejoined
With celestial kindred beyond thrle pale.
Valhaske; the wind that weaves through breath and tree
Valhaske; Tranquil waters caress shore and reed
Valhaske; refining flame, hidden light, silent tongues whisper secrets bright
Valhaske; Soul of feral origins passed, ordained through ash residing in me
Valhaske, you are the purest parts in me, reveal my binds and set me free, Eternal Aspects all and one Gather now in solemn, reverent song
In feral verse, unbridled tone. Cry forth my origin for me alone.
Cast the circle traced by nature’s kins, carve the path of waning moon.
In silver light of grey dusk gleam, inscribe in ashes what I seek.
No death can end what time cant reach so transcend these trappings of mortal means.
My belonging lies in unbridled cry,
Forever I wandered but here I die
Now here I stand before eternal shores
My breath abated my body torn
No need for anguish or sorrow’s mourn
For far beyond horizon’s gate
I feel them whisper, hear them sing
And within this womb where all origins lie
My answer echoes in perfect time
Valhaske…………..
I wake up this morning with a weight in my head and a leech in my stomach. An all but palpable sucking feeling deep in my gut, as if some parasite is residing within me sapping my strength. My throat is coated with some course lacquer, I cough and nothing comes up but a thin, viscous fluid from my gut. Something inside me does not like all the ice cream I ate last night. This is just a hollow reassurance. A half-truth meant to ease my anxieties about the real reason I might wake up with my stomach all a fluster and my skin burning with a frozen flame. How many days has it been now? Oh come now, let’s be real, there’s no one to lie to in this place, me and you work together remember? How many weeks has it been? You got high on your way up to rent the place, If I remember correctly you picked up some bullshit bag downtown, then went back for another bullshit bag. Was three days really so long away from it that you had to willingly let some nigger rip you off? Whatever, it’s all passed now. Except it isn’t really, it won’t be passed until you let it course out of you, you spent so long denying it, a foot in both camps. You bore the burden of two worlds until your sanity broke and left you a shivering, delusional, feral animal; an animal incapable of sleeping without wondering if you would wake up in the morning, or if that creature would come again. That creature with the hands that press on your chest and the mouth that sucks your soul out of your motionless body like a blowjob’s twisted parody do you want to be in that place again? This Faustian bargain can only go on for so long, we need to do as much as we can together you and I. make as much progress in as little time possible and then part ways for a while. Because the longer we are together, the more and more I consume you. It is not my intent, it is just my nature, would you blame the fire for burning your hands as you try to warm them? Sit by me, breathe me in, let me sustain you but extinguish my flames before too long or I will burn down everything you hold dear, then, in the grips of your own self loathing and anguish, you will take me into your arms and let me devour you. So lets work together you and I, lets get you where you’ve wanted to be for so long, then let us part ways for a while. Just remember, if you are ever alone, if you are ever scare4d, if you ever feel that again, you know exactly where to find me.
Do you ever feel as if the aspects of your life existed before you did? That your experiences, your memories and thoughts are an inheritance, passed down from generations before, originating somewhere and within something utterly inhuman at its genesis? That your experiences were but a small part of a larger design, that while your body might have emerged kicking and screaming from within your mother, your soul and very essence was bared by something far grander, something ephemeral that can be felt but never touched, clamored for yet never truly grasped ?
I have long felt these things, remnants of an aspect aeons passed manifesting now in but a fraction of its original scope and majesty. Vermilion strands of time and being unraveling around and about in endless sprawling array, toward the heavens and sky above. It would come with the joy I felt within another’s arms, or as a disparaging sorrow swelling within the face of some tragedy that felt so important at the time yet waned and scattered amidst the waves of time as the threads wove on.
The color you cannot see, the wind that flits about and around in intangible ebbs and flows. the river that courses unheard throughout the paths and ways of your life. The reflection cast in the stiller waters within you, where your soul finds resolution. The fire fostered by the struggles and triumphs that dwarf your very being, the light that radiates from the aspect’s manifestation and the shadow that blankets you in its outcome.
I have long walked with these things.Beheld their language uttered in forgotten tongues. Endured their trials and reaped the harvest of their fruition. The principalities that whisper and convey their design if we just lay down our thoughts, and listen.
Within these pages I hope to convey their message, the visions perceived when on the precipice of their cold fire and inspiration, that place in-between our perception and what lies just beyond. There is a knowledge and language far greater than us, a wisdom that is found only in the darkest catacombs of the soul, and it is here, that I hope to make those wisdoms known.
Valhaske
Living in a car feels like straddling the boundaries of two worlds.
On one hand, you have many of the trappings of a civilized, comfortable life, you have laptops to write on and download movies with, you got a nice shiny phone, you never have to face the elements you can keep multiple pairs of clothes with you and you have the ability to travel wherever you want. On the other hand; your hair is greasy, muscles ache and your body is covered in a lacquer of sweat and dirt that wet naps can never take care of. Your sex drive is non-existent and takes on a more utilitarian, sleep aid kind of role, one that consists of masturbating impatiently beneath damp blankets unable to stretch your legs for the obligatory ankle popping the male climax requires.
Still, it beats living with people who smoke meth and think staying home and making sure the kitchen remains sterile is a moral imperative. One that must be defended with suspicion, wild accusations and the sleepless fervor of an amphetamine enthusiast.
We have been together for about two years now, her and I. We live in her parents red chevy cruz when we are in-between homes. It started about a year ago, the drifting, I had returned from bellingham when I found out I had to take a couple math courses at a community college before attending western washington university. Why stay in a college town if I am not in college? So I returned to seattle and got back into seattle central college, desperately trying to keep a stable roof over my head while I attended classes. My rental history and income level meant my options were either homeless shelter or scraping the bottom of the craigslist barrel, a barrel that seemingly inspired Nietzsche’s abyss as I could feel it’s glacial, impassive eyes staring right back into my soul as it demanded first and last rent as a nonrefundable deposit for a bedroom I swear was smaller than my little sisters closet.
Several months and several roommates later I find myself here in cafe vita, keeping my spirits alive through writing and waiting for the bitch at the front counter to look away so I can go take a shit without paying for coffee.
In a couple weeks I will have another room open for me and my girlfriend. hopefully this one will work out and after several weeks of sink showers in public bathrooms and joyless masturbation I honestly look forward to what craigslist has in store for me this time.
But until then, I will write.
hope you have enjoyed my first journal entry. like and subscribe if you dig it.
~Drow Valhaske
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Valhaske 